We’re leaving New York. (Gulp.)

And we’re headed out west this fall, back to California.

Excited? I think so. Can I be honest? We are going to miss New York and the friends we’ve made here terribly. And we’re really nervous.  It’s been a really difficult decision.

We keep using the analogy of that boyfriend or girlfriend that one loves, one could–in all likelihood–happily be with for years, but can’t see marrying. (Neither of us has actually been in this situation, but we think we can imagine it.)

New York is, in this scenario, my boyfriend. We’re very happy together; I like his friends; he’s smokin’ hot (if sometimes a little too moody); and I’d love to just coast along a little longer, rather than risk missing his company. But there are some things that make me think that ten years down the road, I’d be nagging and nitpicking and wondering if he  were really the one (and sadly, it has a little to do with money). So it’s probably better to say goodbye now and end on good terms. It doesn’t mean I won’t sometimes wonder “what if?” It doesn’t mean I won’t think of him on holidays or that I won’t miss his cooking. And hopefully we’ll stay friends and I’ll visit a lot. Slowly I’ll move on, and in all likelihood I’ll find the one I’m supposed to be with. And who knows? Maybe like those old couples in When Harry Met Sally, we’ll end up together after all those years. But there’s some sort of catalyst (let’s say I’m going to go study abroad for a year) and now seems like the right time to break up.

Aron finishes his residency this June and got offered an absolutely fantastic position at with Kaiser in Sacrament0–it offered everything that he and I wanted. (As in really, really amazing!)  So we are going to be making a homecoming of sorts, back to California in September after our month of traveling Bali. Our plan is to live in Davis–a small university town where we first met and where he grew up.

It’s funny: when I was in elementary school, they asked us to draw our idea of Utopia. It was one of those assignments I wasn’t really too interested by, so I just made something up. I drew a town where everyone rode bikes. Those of you familiar with Davis might see where I’m headed with this. Davis is famously bike friendly. I’m hoping it’s a sign.

There’s so much to say about  all of the complicated feelings we have about such a big adjustment in a year of a lot of change. I’m confident we’re going to be happy (we would be wherever we go as long as we go together) and if you asked for a list of things we’re excited for, we’d have no trouble drawing a long one up. It’s a wonderful place! But right now we find ourselves fixating on a lot of the things we’re going to miss. Our list of things to do for the move, and before the move, seems to grow volumes by the day. But I also want to be sure that we savor these precious few sweet months in the city. I have a feeling we’ll be sharing a lot of last gasps.

Break-ups are hard!

Pass the ice cream.

 

[Photo from last year’s trip to Napa (only 45 minutes from Davis, by the way)]

 

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