Thinking About: Wife Bonuses & Two-Income Households

Did you happen to read Wednesday Martin’s op-ed, “Poor Little Rich Women,” in the New York Times last month? In it, the author writes about the practice of “wife bonuses”:

“A wife bonus, I was told, might be hammered out in a pre-nup or post-nup, and distributed on the basis of not only how well her husband’s fund had done but her own performance—how well she managed the home budget, whether the kids got into a ‘good’ school—the same way their husbands were rewarded at investment banks. In turn these bonuses were a ticket to a modicum of financial independence and participation in a social sphere where you don’t just go to lunch, you buy a $10,000 table at the benefit luncheon a friend is hosting.”

It was at once mind-blowing and, well, not surprising at all—having lived in New York for a time. It’s mostly just fascinating when people talk about their (very extreme) financial situations openly.

Which, of course, they didn’t. Not really.

This op-ed was all a part of marketing for Martin’s pseudo-scientific, yet serious anthropological study of certain Upper-East-Side elite, a tribe of wives if you will, that she conducted by becoming one of “them” in preparation for her memoir that’s coming out soon, Primates of Park Avenue. But color me intrigued.

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The Easiest Two-Ingredient Doughnut Recipe

Scenario: You’re at work, reading blogs with photos of homemade donuts at your desk all day. You didn’t prep ahead. There’s no dough leavening on the counter. So you leave work, determined to swing by someplace to pick up one on the way home and you’re (a) too late and they’re closed, (b) faced with the only disappointing, cold leftovers, or (c) met with a mile-long line at the only place still making them hot. It’s happened to me.

Here’s what to do instead: Pass the shop and run into the grocery store to buy a pop-tin of biscuit dough and some canola oil. (And, if you’re going to add a glaze, get—at minimum—some powdered sugar, too. Although I’ll give some more ideas for glazes below.)

Gift Guide: Father’s Day

It’s not too early to start thinking about Father’s day gifts…

If you want to get something from someplace like Etsy, you often need to think a bit further ahead. On the other hand, if you leave your shopping until the last minute, there are some options on here from sites like Amazon (where, apparently, major cities can now get same-day shipping—crazy!). I got a little carried away this time—too many great things for guys.

Row by row, left to right…

A card to make yours laugh (because it’s all too true). And to thank him for everything.

Classic (California-made) board shorts with a 7″ inseam—to best flatter his great dad-bod. The Sky and Stripe are my favorites.

A perfect casual watch.

This starter kit because everything is under 30z and would help him in his struggle to still travel carry-on only. Ah, the good ol’ days.

This handsome french press would suit him well.

Awww. For him and his little one. Throw in a box of pizza while you’re at it.

A croquet set! Because games are the best gifts, and he probably doesn’t have one yet. You can all play a round together in the afternoon.

On a related note, Cards Against Humanity. Indulge his wicked sense of humor (or at least flatter it).

A slim-cut linen shirt that comes in extended sizes (like Tall!)—on sale until Monday.

A six-pack cooler for picnics in the park. Fill it with Dad’s Root Beer or a microbrew from his home town to start.

Best. Dad. Ever. Period.

Cool skateboard for the hipster dad.

Backgammon to play on that camping trip he’s been wanting to take.

I’ve always wanted to try this: Play catch for 25 minutes with the kids and make ice cream at the same time. Everyone wins!

This clean, ceramic Sake Set could come out after the kids are asleep. [Sold out] (Here’s an article about the beverage.)

A handmade waxed tote that gets better with age (like him).

This waterproof phone case inflates. So it would be perfect along with white-water-rafting plans.

Steak knives. And a promise to make a juicy rib-eye soon.

Kindle Paperwhite. I love mine, and it’s likely the only way he gets to read on planes anymore (one-handedly, usually while someone sleeps on the other one).

All he really wants to know. Make sure he gets the message.  (And low pressure: Tell him he can leave it on the shelf and you’ll add to it from time to time.)

Of course, if the dads in your life are anything like the ones in mine, they tend to buy themself everything they want. So experiences make great gifts, too. Or even just his favorite breakfast with a note saying why he’s the coolest—and that you love him. 

What are your best father’s day gift ideas? 

P.S. Last year’s Father’s Day Gift Guide. And the holiday gift guide for him. I stand by all those recommendations, and will say it again: that toy helicopter remains my favorite go-to gift suggestion ever.